Joan Rivers’ best Fashion Police zingers


The late Joan Rivers was a much loved American actress, writer, producer, and television host but she was most notable for her comedy. She rose to popularity during the 1960s but was a household name through the decades with her comedic and, at times, bluntly honest criticisms towards celebrities on the E! celebrity fashion show, Fashion Police. In celebration of this comedic icon here is a list of our favorite jokes she delivered on Fashion Police.

Known for poking fun at her own age, Joan extended this gag to her peer Madonna when speaking of her cheerleader costume on stage. Joan remarked, “she looks like she flunked the 10th grade 48 times!”. This typical cutting and ruthless humor is what shot Joan Rivers to become one of the most famous comedians around.

Joan Rivers

Even when commenting on award-winning actresses, Joan never shied away from giving her candor. In the topic of Natalie Portman wearing a book-shaped bag to the Black Swan premiere, Joan jokes, “I don’t like that she’s carrying a book. It says ‘this movie sucks, it’s so boring. I’m going to read through it,” earning a chuckle from her co-stars.

Even Joan herself was not safe from deprecating humor. She brings up her own looks, saying “I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to ‘Ripley’s Believe It or Not’ — they sent it back and said, ‘We don’t believe it.” This humorous wisdom was what got Rivers so far in her 81 years of life.

It was also Joan’s humor that got her through some of the tougher times, and some of her own insecurities. One of her best bouts of wisdom was when she said: “Never be afraid to laugh at yourself; after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century”. Maybe that’s what she’s trying to teach all the celebrities she insults?

Joan’s daughter, Melissa Rivers, was brought on in a memorium episode for the Fashion Police. Melissa was not a stranger to Joan’s jokes either – the best one being, “The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted”. Joan brought her family up during many episodes of the Fashion Police, showing her soft, loving side the only way she could.

We can rest assured Joan stayed stylish until the end. In one episode, she even quipped “Does fashion matter? Always – though not quite as much after death.” This explains her thorough eye for the hottest trends and her discerning taste, but also how she manages not to take life too seriously.

Joan Rivers

Like a wise-cracking fairy godmother, Joan had advice for everything and took advantage of her air time on the hit television show whenever she could. Joan even told viewers “If God wanted us to bend over he’d put diamonds on the floor.” Rivers owned her expensive taste.

Joan Rivers was never afraid to show off her expensive taste either. She wasn’t particularly snobbish about her wealth but she wasn’t shy to say that it made her happy. In a witty analysis, she said, “People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made”.