Being in a relationship can come with enough problems and ups and downs without the added stress of your parents not liking your partner. Having the most important people in your life being at odds with each other can make your situation a bit of a nightmare. Sometimes it can just feel unfixable, so if you find yourself in this situation what can you do?
The first thing to do is to have an honest and open conversation with your family. They are your family, and they obviously love you, so you need to respect them and give them an opportunity to speak. You need to get to the root of why they have a problem with your partner. Is it something specific they have taken with or does it seem a little vague? Maybe they are just having difficulties at seeing you become more independent and it’s not actually down to your partner. You’ll not know unless you are open and discuss what is bothering them, because otherwise, you will never be able to get to the bottom of things
Is this issue with your relationship common amongst other people you know? Are all your friends on board with this new person in your life? What is your relationship like with your partner’s parents? If you’re encountering bad vibes from all sides, maybe it’s a sign of something you can’t quite see. But if you are generally being supported by everyone else, maybe your parents aren’t getting the full picture. It might be worth getting your parents to see what everyone else sees, maybe by spending more time together or having your parents speak to your friends about the relationship.
It is worth also taking some time to look at the relationship between you and your partner and how your relationship is presented. Is your new relationship compromising other elements of your life? As a result, are you are spending less time with family and friends? Are they a critical or often negative person? If you are noticing these problems, then it’s more than likely that your family is too. You should certainly question the motives of someone who acts this way with you.
While you are thinking about dynamics, you should also consider the kind of relationship you have with your family and if this conflict is going to affect that. If you and your family have always been close with a strong relationship, is it worth pursuing something that will potentially really damage that? On the other hand, if you’ve never been very close with your family, do you really need their approval in this situation? This one is a very individual problem and something that can be a vast gray area. But ultimately you have to decide what is important to you.
Overall it can be a difficult problem, but the main thing you need to do is to be thoughtful and respectful in order to get to the bottom of it. Remember what is most important to you and who the main people in your life are.